**SPOILER** Shame on you if you haven’t seen it yet!
Prepare yourselves ladies and gents, for the most unqualified movie review known to man! My goal here is to give you the best review I can, for those nonprofessional movie lovers. I’m talking people who get the plot, they get the meta, they even get the meta meta. However, beyond that, we are just receptacles shoveling ‘entertaining’ crap sent from the beautiful people in Hollywood into our nacho and popcorn filled bellies. With that being said, I hope you enjoy my critique.
Yes! In a technical sense, Star Wars: The Last Jedi is an entertaining movie. The music, as always, engages you in such a way that you feel a part of a world unlike your own. The imagery is so realistic, it’s hard to believe it’s just 0s and 1s. But where the heck did the plot go? It is very clear to me that when the baton was somewhat reluctantly passed, the old plot was thrown away. There is a slight transition, where we see background characters begin to take a bigger spotlight, General Hux, being the best example. We also see a turn in the relationship of Rey and Kylo Ren. A commonality between opposite ends of the force. Is a romance brewing? Possibly? I sure hope so! I am not complaining about these changes, the movie is still entertaining. It’s Star Wars, it’s always going to be entertaining.
What I am complaining about is the lack of jedi fighting. Come on! That is the coolest part of the whole franchise. Yes, we see Rey do some pretty cool rock tricks with Skywalker, but I don’t recall that much tip to tip action. Get your filthy minds out of the gutter! I’m talking about lightsabers! I liked the bits and pieces we did get but think about it this way. What would Harry Potter have been like with a total of 10 mins of wand action? A waste. That’s what. There is no reason to have this little lightsaber action. CGI is better than it’s ever been, and what, are they saving it for some inexplicable reason? What happened to the good old days where yoda kicked some sith ass with flippy floppy jedi force skill. Here is my suggestion, focus on Rey and Kylo, the connection between them is incredible and put me on the edge of my seat. Throw in a solid 30 mins of light saber face time trickled throughout the 8 hr movie. And boom! Great movie!
Now, the title, well that’s something else ain’t it. Major foreshadowing there, Luke is making his way out of the story, along with other OG’s, to allow a new generation in. However, he clearly is not the last jedi. I mean, come on Johnson, did you forget the plot of Men Who Stare At Goats. The force continues on, the jedi continue on. No, here they meant that the old Jedi is gone and a new jedi is making its way into the light. Ha! Puns. I think we all knew this, but who knows maybe an uninformed ‘hipster’ is reading this and they don’t actually know anything about Star Wars. I don’t know much about Star Wars, but I’m not an idiot.
There were many great moments throughout the movie, here are my personal favorites:
- Kylo and Rey’s secret conversation being shattered by Skywalker’s ego (can you say cockblock)
- Vice Admiral Hodo’s heroic moment splitting Snoke’s ship with the use of lightspeed
- Every time General Hux was made fun of
- When Yoda destroyed the Jedi temple, and then wiggled his ears
- Rey’s mirrored moment
I hope you enjoyed my review, and I do wish that I did not insult you in any way. Just kidding, I don’t care. Now for the final ranking moment… I rank this film: 4 bananas out of 5 apples.
-E.
Authentically Me, Eliza. 